An update on Dave...

Hello everybody. Long time, no talk.

I just wanted to let everyone know what I've been up to and what I'm doing. So, for the past 3 months I have been literally doing nothing. I had saved up a bunch of money so I took the time to relax, read ridiculous amounts of novels for fun, movie and video games. I put my feet up and ate food and that was it. A very nice break that I felt I deserved and so I did it.

But now, it has become time to get off my butt and do more. I got an itch to go on adventures and start something new so that is exactly what I'm doing. So, in 2 days (Friday) I am moving back to my parent's place for a month and then I am moving to Halifax. Going to find a job and just live and set up somewhere new. Just for the hell of it. I'm really excited about it and am pretty sure I'm crazy as a loon. But it's happening anyways.

So, I just wanted to say goodbye to those wonderful people still in Guelph and on the blog. I'm on here every day anyways, so it's not like I'm really going anywhere. I just crazy.

~ dave-mart out

Megaphone helmet on eBay

How have I been able to exist this long without a 1950s megaphone helmet? eBay has two - get one for you and your significant other and take your arguments to a new level.

A pair of immeasurably awesome megaphone hats from the 1950s. Includes a pair of shoulder-mounted battery packs which can also be used to transmit morse code through the hats.
Ebay item #6045938976, 5 days to go, £45 starting bid.

~D-Tron

Jmart's Review of CE2:GftG...

Well, I watched it. Story? Kate and Doug's daughter Jackie is a single's skater. She breaks her leg doing a jump and has to switch to pairs. Pairs up with badass inline skater Alex Harrison. They hate, do amazing jumps and admit their love. That's all.

Two good things about the movie:

1) They showed the original right before it (Kate+Doug 4EVA!!!)
2) The Sopranos season 6 premiered right after it.

Ok, a little harsh. But Oksana Baiul was in it as a commentator! My favourite line of the movie is when Jackie breaks her leg and Oksana says, "I think she's really hurt!" Really? Thanks tips! She's only sprawled all over the ice not moving surrounded by a billion people. Gah!

I mean, I was expecting this "movie" to be lame...I think we all were, right? But there are a few things that make it really lame in retrospect. What could they be?

1) Wonky timelines. Ok, so the original took place in 1992 at the Albertville Olympics. So, if the two leads actually had a daughter and conceived her the night they professed their love and successfully completed the Pamchenko twist, she'd be what? 13? And the lead dude is supposed be 20-21ish? Icky. Get your timelines right writers/directors!

2) Zero chemistry between the leads. Remember the sparks I mentioned below (look at the picture to refresh your memory). Hmmm. None of that. Not feelin the love/hate.

3) Umm...it had scenes that mirrored the original exactly...they just changed hockey to competitve inline skating. Seriously.

4) I refuse to believe that Doug Dorsey would allow his daughter to become even more humourless and uptight than Kate was. The "real" Doug would pull that hockey stick right out of her ass.

5) The final routine -- hair gel can work for most people. Ross Thomas' (actor who plays the inline dude) hair is a gel nightmare. If only I could find a picture for you. I mean the guy is kinda cute, but back away from the Dippity-Do!

So yeah...Cutting Edge = good; Cutting Edge 2: Going for the Gold = BAD!

When I grow up...

I want to be a parent like this!

Yikes. Imagine the therapy bills!

~jmart out -- working on Cutting Edge 2 review

Douche-Fuck of the Month: Travis Frey

It is my pleasure to present to you Travis Frey. Mr. Frey is a real peach. Don't believe me? Just read the "marriage contract" he made up for his wife!

Douche-Fuck of the month runner-up:

His wife, for actually marrying this jackass after he presented her with the contract. At least she didn't sign it.

Toe Pick?

I admit with no shame that I love The Cutting Edge. D.B. Sweeney is totally hot (what the hell happened to him anyway?), hockey is awesome and Moira Kelly is a total bitch. What's not to love? And they had major chemistry...see the sparks:

<-------------






















BUT THIS?????















Is a total nightmare! I am willing to further admit that when I first heard about this movie, I was totally excited. Kate and Doug have a kid who's also a skater? Awesome!

Then I started to hear stuff that concerned me.

1) No D.B. or Moira...wtf?
2) Straight to dvd (always a bad sign)

BUT, my major concern came when I saw this ad in People tonight at Prairie. Jesus. Roller blades? On ice? Really???

So sisters and righteous brothers, it's on ABC Family tonight. I'll be watching (hopefully) and I'll give a review. I encourage you to do the same. Come on...how else are you going to spend a Sunday?

~Jmart out.

Find your perfect puppet...

Ok...I got this in an email a while ago. Apparently there is a need to "find your perfect puppet." This guy certainly looks like he did. I wish I saved the email, so we could all be as happy as this guy.

my friend has made a suggestion...

After we once again watched a certain music video for fun, my friend made a disturbing suggestion. She thinks that a dance remix version should be made of "Hooked on a Feeling" a la David Hasselhoff just for shits and giggles. I shudder at the thought!

Who supports me?

-dave

Disturbing...

A Japanese man in New York breeds and sells kittens that are called BONSAI CATS. That would sound cute, if it weren't kittens that were put in to little bottles after being given a muscle relaxant and then locked up for the rest of their lives! The cats are fed through a straw and have a small tube for their faces. The skeleton of the cat will take on the form of the bottle as the kitten grows. The cats never get the opportunity to move. They are used as original and exclusive souvenirs. These are the latest trends in New York, China, Indonesia and New Zealand.

If you think you can handle it, view www.bonsaikitten.com and have a look at the methods being used to put these little kittens into bottles.

Theres a petition going around to again close this site down, for good! The people on it are nuts though! If you do check the website out be sure to check out the guest book/comments section.